Matt managed

to lecture on Kantian ethics and oral sex tonight. The brilliance and pace of the presentation renewed my faith and reminded me why I am in love, awe with the minds of this new place. Then tea and studying till three. When I stepped out into the silent night and walked home, down empty Wall Street, past the cop car parked in the center of cross campus, past the man asleep in the maintenance truck. After the rain, the stars are startlingly sharp and bright for New Haven. I'm unreasonably happy for someone with two midterms tomorrow and a terrifying world this week woke up in. Now to sleep, to dream orgo syntheses and retros through a REM cycle, to wake to test to protest and dance. Ben, bring 80's-esque clothes or you'll have to borrow some of ours.

Went to sleep sick as this body of states

to wake at an obscure hour, check the new york times site and Sam's blog. I don't enjoy horror films, but this suspense is better than a decision based on fraud or moral values. Theft is unacceptable; they can't steal it again. But if they win it fair and square as the corner beliefs have boxed them in, if anti-abortionist, anti-science, anti-gay rights, anti-international, anti-intellectuals are the true majority then we'll have to work with that. Fight. The good guys, if they exist, never have it easy. We'll write epic poems, political commentaries, or canvas more voters. We will educate with the tools of this grand one we get. Can't retreat into cartoon bubbles of thought, college. Have to keep talking to hear we're hardly alone. Heartened by home, comments, a wakeful, watchful campus, we won't convert but will work, hard. Strained by multiple midterms, still a second term concerns us because who else will rise at dawn to rebel against night? In the middle of a night of dark aged minds, lift a lamp beside the golden door.

Feverish

I am disjoint and out of frame. My frame is shaking with the projection of each state my cheeks are redder than. There are few faces I like least at the moment than the mug of a monkey. CNN is projecting Pennsylvania at the moment. 41 visits, "haha" in Ivan's words. The shadows cast by these projections on asperations are murky.

I voted today. After a mild runaround. A knock on the door woke me up, a wake up call to civic duty. We went down to the New Haven Public, Ward 1, in sunshine strained through yellow leaves. The flesh was falling off the trees in gusts and the smell of decomposing leaves was warm. We didn't show up on the lists. Deterred I headed to safe saintly breakfast and then an exciting English class led by a British intellectual who admitted she couldn't concentrate, wait for the day to be over, and asked us seriously who Spenser would have voted for. She took us to the text and demanded evidence nothing wish washy, no trusting opinions or exit polls. Too terrified, too scared and sick, physically ill to write cogently. Conservative as CNN, depressed into silence, suddenly the room has started rioting, driven to jumping and shouting and absurdity and insanity by stupidity and the non-cat is scared of us. I'm holding on to hope, but so far Ivan hasn't been wrong, so no shots have been taken and I might want to shoot someone if it comes out as he predicted.